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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29957478">Les Enfants du Paradis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedzone/pseuds/speedzone'>speedzone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Codependency, Complete, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, In which Bern takes advantage of this brief moment alone to air out her uglier vulnerabilities, One Shot, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29957478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedzone/pseuds/speedzone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have, let me confess it in all humility, a pitiful human wish that someone should know just how clever I have been." — Agatha Christie</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bernkastel/Lambdadelta (Umineko no Naku Koro ni)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Les Enfants du Paradis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lingering trace of bustle had left the smoking room in a much unwelcome state, in Bernkastel's humble opinion.</p><p>Though she took caution to never too frequently express any clear discontent (above the carefully maintained veil of disinterest), the clear lack of privacy irked her. It bothered her that in the midst of what should be a private moment she was sharing with Lambdadelta, she could still taste the ghosts of conversation from lips that weren't their own. The cherry softness of Lambda's own mouth cooed along her jawline and yet, she felt no familiar stir of ivory white heat in her chest. Simply a cold resonance that forced her tightened knuckles downward onto the cushion of her seat as she stood and evaporated to the side like an expertly dodging player character in a fighting game. Lambda's own brow had quirked in ginger curiosity at this evasion, but though a hint of concern had wormed its way into her system, she took care not to boldly present it on her countenance.</p><p>"What's wrong?" The first words that fell from her mouth landed on the floor in front of her dully, as immaterial and voiceless as the drop of a pen in a thundering crowd. Bern's brows knit as she took short, labored breaths.</p><p>"It's too noisy, here." Bernkastel had offered, fully aware of how ridiculous it had sounded as soon as it left her. There was no sign of life here that didn't belong to either of them, she knew that. Lambda knew it too. Though, even despite this, Lambda could manage a guess as to what this riddle-like language hoped to get at.</p><p>"Awh, this isn't a sanctuary for <em>us</em>, you know...? This is the room that Battler and Beato have set aside for their big, chatty debates! Of course it's noisy~" Lambda preened with all the grace of a small dog burrowing holes with its eyes into a full-body mirror (which is to say, not much). Bern's amusement sat firmly at a level of zero, and the spark that had only shortly ago ignited in her chest set fire to her ribs with a <em>not unfamiliar</em> but surprisingly rare <strong>tenacity</strong>.</p><p>She turned her heel slightly, content to label herself fickle for the way she had rapidly closed the distance between them after only just deciding to coldly put a gap there moments before.</p><p>"Ohoh--?" Lambda began, but found her mouth preoccupied by the hasty delivery of Bern's own lips. Her knees buckled softly, threatening to weaken until she felt the sharp tint of pain, as the cat's teeth clamped harshly onto her bottom lip.</p><p>"Somewhere else. Now." She huffed, voice husky and low. Lambda wasn't quite sure what to say.</p><p>"So <em>now</em> you wanna stick around? When was the last time we took things outside, I wonder~? ☆"</p><p>"Shut <strong>up</strong>, just shut the <strong>hell up</strong> and move it." For just a brief moment, the uncharacteristic <em>quiver</em> of Bern's voice galvanized something slight, and serious inside of Lambda's own heart.</p><p>She nodded silently, snapped her fingers as the scenery around them folded inward, darkened, and then awoke as something wholly unfamiliar to what had come before. This was nowhere any Ushiromiya or Beatrice had ever seen, something intimately familiar to Lambda, and Bern too, but hardly the kind of sight that had settled on the eyes due to its frequency of use. How many times had they been here? Perhaps only twice, if that.</p><p>As soon as they'd been permitted a refuge, Bern's hands delivered themselves roughly onto Lambda's shoulders. Her weight fell fully back onto the soft furnishings of a bed she knew laid behind her. Although, she seemed to have misjudged the distance, because she was unpleasantly surprised by the fact that her shoulders didn't flatly connect with the mattress, instead opting to barely miss as her neck cocked uncomfortably against the edge. Heels dug desperately against the floor to attain some level of balance, and although Bern's wordless demands seemed animal, she seemed to carry enough awareness that she would allow for a slight moment of physical concession. </p><p>Grateful for the consideration, Lambda wormed her way back onto the bed, though it was only enough of a grace-period to get there before the other witch's hands had firmly locked her there, eyes somewhere between the haze of determination and fear. What had gotten into her today? It was only the sudden <em>drip...drip</em> of hot liquid onto her face that made Lambadelta realize just how bad it had gotten. </p><p>"Bern? Are you crying?" Her innocent tone was almost cruel in the manner it dissected the subtlety with which Bern's emotions had seeped out of her. It felt almost like a betrayal of the body, once Bern had taken notice. Her expression, of course, never faltered for a moment, remaining as placid and unimpressed as it ever had.</p><p>"Hm? Really?" She croaked, but the crags of her broken voice were enough to demonstrate the way her heart fought her sentiments. Bernkastel removed a hand, pinched the bridge of her nose as wrinkles carved anguish onto her face. She heaved the way one might when seasick. "I didn't notice it. I didn't notice at all...and I suppose that's the problem."</p><p>A long pause settled its way between them. But Lambda couldn't sit up. Though she could easily outmaneuver a single arm, overpower it with <strong>certainty</strong>...she remained laid back. She swallowed dryly, sharpened eyes softening to slants that barely focused on the ceiling above.</p><p>"You're such a liar."</p><p>"How come?"</p><p>"You're eager to pretend that I need you the <em>most</em>, and you do a good job of playing along when I make it seem that way...but you really need me <strong>way more</strong>, don't you?"</p><p>The silence's reprise dug a hole into Bern's chest, as if she'd been lambasted by a professor who decried her tardiness in missing homework. But Lambda's expression hadn't wavered a mite from its softness into any kind of cynicism. Hand briefly pondered traveling to squeeze Bern's own, but she quickly decided not to in favor of continuing to lay prone. She knew that it would only take a moment more for the cat to collapse, and she was always right.</p><p>Bernkastel buried her face into Lambda's chest, gasps rocking her back up and down as her grip weakened. Lambda's arms traced up and along the small of her back, rubbing warm circles into it as Bern sobbed in what must have been the first time in <em>ages</em>. </p><p>"It's happened again..." She admitted through short breaths, "I can't stop <em>thinking</em> about--"</p><p>"Back then." Lambda finished her sentence, "I know."</p><p>"Stop that. Stop it. Stop <strong>knowing</strong>. Stop <em>thinking</em> the way you do, so--"</p><p>"Perfectly."</p><p>"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" She shrieked, but the volume didn't deter the blonde's cradling. In fact, she had finally managed to sit up, fingers raising slightly to weave through the other's dark, blue hair. Her fingers twisted and turned, idly tying small braids and untangling them just as easily. It was as if she were charting a map of the territory that was Bern's body, demonstrating her knowledge and mastery of its many crossroads and dead-ends. </p><p>"Why do you pretend that it hurts you? When I hold you. When I crave you."</p><p>"Because it <em>does</em>, Lambda. Because it burns me, like a cheap candle whose wax can't withstand a pitiable, short-lived flame."</p><p>"Burns you...how?" A bittersweet smile traced the corners of her mouth as she pressed her forehead carefully into the crown of Bern's hair.</p><p>"So brightly...and brilliantly. It hurts exactly because it's too perfect."</p><p>"Is this why we meet so sparsely, these days~?"</p><p>"Who knows...maybe."</p><p>"...I <strong>do </strong>need you."</p><p>Lambda's heart skipped a beat, face aflush with a bright scarlet that would seemed only to have adorned the faces of adolescent girls in popular shoujo manga. How long had she craved to hear those words from Bern's own mouth? And yet, to hear it here, and now, there was something almost...<em>animal</em> about it. Compulsory. In the way a starved creature sinks its teeth without thought into a fresh carcass, her heart too yearned for the complexity of its own pangs, its own agonies. </p><p>"But of course~ Who else could be as pop☆cute☆cool as I, the great lady Lambdadelta?" She snickered, self aware of how unwelcome her digression into theatrics might be, but still being unable to avoid it. She expected Bern to fester at this, but was surprised when all she heard was an amused click of the tongue. Bern strained to raise her head slightly, but was kept in check as though a beach ball pressed underneath a tide. Lambda's lips pressed against her forehead, gingerly delivering kiss after kiss until she'd traced Bern's both temples. Bern groaned silently, finally released from the pressure of the water as she pushed up, pushed her weight back on top of the blonde as they fell atop the bed.</p><p>"Are you always such an angel when you're needy~?" Lambda cooed.</p><p>"I rather think I'm incorrigible, myself." Bern snorted, unamused.</p><p>"<em>Please</em>. You're still just not over yourself, are you?" The blonde teased.</p><p>"What do you mean by that...?"</p><p>"I'm saying you're not as bad as you think you are."</p><p>"Maybe I'm worse."</p><p>"Maybe: <strong>shut the fuck up</strong>." Lambda delivered sharply to nip that conversational branch in the bud. Bern's pupil trembled with gentle surprise as she was pulled up, blinking in silence and awaiting for Lambda's follow-up. All she received for her trouble was a hungry kiss that kept her wanting for breath for several stretches of seconds. She gulped slightly at air, pressed a hand <em>hard</em> against Lambda's shoulder but only to halt her, not to push her away.</p><p>"What--? What."</p><p>"Are you <em>here</em> with me, or aren't you?"</p><p>"Of course I am, what kind of question is that?"</p><p>"Really? Because here I thought you were in a logic error again."</p><p>Bern bit back rising bile, knuckles tightening.<br/>
"That isn't fair."</p><p>"Not much is! Pack your suitcases and head to Neverland, if you're looking for it to be."</p><p>"Why are you <em>scolding</em> me all of a sudden?"</p><p>"Because you still don't get it, Bern!"</p><p>"What don't I get?!" The cat's eyes flared with an intensity she hardly reached.</p><p>"That you're still hurting!"</p><p>Silence swept between them again. Bern's lips trembled against themselves, shivering at the warmth they'd been denied as soon as Lambda had pulled back from their kiss. Fingers instinctively moved to cradle her own arms as she tried desperately not to appear weak, but this only seemed to galvanize Lambda even further into her point. The blonde's hands grasped overtop Bern's own.</p><p>"...So what do you want me to do?" Bern mumbled.</p><p>"Talk to me, for God's sake."</p><p>"...And what should I say?"</p><p>"Anything you want. But say it."</p><p>"..." A strand of burning silver formed in the corners of Bern's eyes and she resisted the urge to draw her knees upward. "I hurt."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"And I won't stop."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"And while I continue to hurt, I will hurt others."</p><p>"I'm fully aware~ ☆" Her tone cheerily subsided from its prior heat into an almost soothing coo.</p><p>"And yet, you pretend I'm worthy of praise?"</p><p>"I've never lied to you, Bern."</p><p>"Explain."</p><p>"I've never said you were something you weren't."</p><p>"Elaborate."</p><p>"I know you're wicked. I know you're cruel. I know you hardly feel a shred of regret for that."</p><p>"And...then what?"</p><p>"And even so, I love you."</p><p>"...Say it again."</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"Again." Bern wrested her hands away, rose on her palms.</p><p>"<strong>I love you</strong>."</p><p>"One more time." Bern pressed upward, upward, nose practically touching Lambda's own.</p><p>"<strong>I love you</strong>." The familiar chime associated with a statement made in <em>red</em> dripped from her words as she brushed her tongue against Bern's lips. </p><p>"How--" Bern groaned faintly, "Professing love in <em>red</em> of all things. Do you insist on embarrassing yourself?"</p><p>"How could I ever~?" Lambda snickered, tongue inviting Bern's own to dance without a hint of hesitation. "After all, it's the unvarnished truth. ☆"</p><p>They kissed for minutes. Some carnal spell, almost, you could call it. Loose strands of saliva threatened to hang between them before Lambda uncouthly wiped it away with a harsh shrug of her sleeve. Bern's cheeks burned red, hands firmly squaring against the blonde's knees. </p><p>"I told you, Bern, I understand you."</p><p>"Mm-hmm."</p><p>"And understanding compromises your heart for prying eyes~"</p><p>"I resist the notion that anyone could."</p><p>"Because anyone <em>couldn't</em>, but I <strong>can</strong>. With certainty."</p><p>"Insistent on being special, are we?"</p><p>"Because I already know I am~"</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>"Because I forgive you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For all you've done. For what you're doing. For what you'll continue to do."</p><p>"I don't need you to <em>save me</em>, Lambda."</p><p>"I know, and I wouldn't dare try."</p><p>"Because I'm broken beyond repair?"</p><p>"Because I'm not so arrogant as to try and bewitch a broken vase to its full form again."</p><p>"A parable of Virgilia?"</p><p>"One with some potency, removed from context~ ☆"</p><p>"Feel free to explain your thought process. But I can't promise I'll listen."</p><p>"Oh you will~"</p><p>"Then just get it over with."</p><p>"I know it can't go back to being whole. But who says I need to be its savior? Who says I need to descend from the sky, shrouded in heavenly light as I prove that I can <strong>fix you</strong>?"</p><p>"..."</p><p>"I don't wanna <em>fix</em> you, Bern, I just wanna <strong>love you</strong>."</p><p>"Warts and all, so to say?"</p><p>"You're too cute for those, but I guess you could say that~"</p><p>"...You really want me like this?"</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"The way I am?"</p><p>"Oh, I'd want nothing more~"</p><p>"Then stop dragging your heels, you damn showoff. And keep following me."</p><p>"That was always the plan~"</p><p>A pause arose, and Bern leaned against Lambda's frame. For a short while, it seemed as if she was being rocked tenderly in the other witch's embrace. Lambda's eyes gingerly closed, a smile spreading across her face. Bern similarly smiled, though there was an inch of smug sarcasm laced with its sincerity.</p><p>"You're not going to snap your fingers and let the chandelier make me crumple on your floor in a heap, are you?"</p><p>"<strong>Please</strong>. I think we're well beyond children's tactics like that, don't you~?"</p><p>"Then how do you plan to make me stay this time?"</p><p>"I think you just will~"</p><p>"Then how do I make sure <strong>you</strong> will?"</p><p>"I wonder about tha~t."</p><p>Bern paused, then delivered a small, pronounced bite to Lambda's collarbone. Lambda winced slightly, legs crossing as her face grew pink, eyes widened with an indignancy and yet a curiosity.</p><p>"Every map needs its markers. I'm sure no matter how far I am..."</p><p>"I'll always lead you back~?"</p><p>"You're so damn <em>loud</em> I probably don't even need it, but it doesn't hurt to keep your options open."</p><p>Lambdadelta snickered out loud, hands cupping Bernkastel's cheeks in soft admiration.</p><p>"You're never boring, Bern~"</p><p>"I'd certainly hope not, considering what boredom does to you."</p><p>"What it does to <em>you</em>, too." She nodded, murmuring.</p><p>"Indeed."</p><p>Bern's forehead earnestly pressed against Lambda's own, stopped just short of delivering a kiss. <em>Sheesh</em>. She's so fickle with who takes the initiative, isn't she? Lambda smirked, lips pressing harshly against Bern's own as they remained captivated by their own soft, continuous kiss. They surfaced for breath the way the most prepared of newlyweds would from their first real kiss of undoubted passion. Though unrefined, Lambda broke the tension with a swipe of her tongue across Bern's upper lip as the other scowled haughtily.</p><p>"You need me?"</p><p>"I do."</p><p>"I need <strong>you</strong>."</p><p>"Figures."</p><p>"I'm never letting you go, again..." She promised in a quiet, calming voice, fingers lacing comfortingly between the cat's own.</p><p>"By this point, I'd be offended if you did."</p><p>"...I love you, Bern."</p><p>"I love <em>you</em>, Lambda."</p><p>"When are we going back~? ☆"</p><p>"In a while. I've shown restraint for the past several hundred years, haven't I?"</p><p>"So you deserve to have me all to yourself, every once in a while~ Is that it~?"</p><p>"You really <strong>do </strong>understand me better than anyone."</p><p>"O-hohoho~ Well, it might be a talent of mine~"</p><p>"Then this shall be <em>our</em> catbox."</p><p>"One only we need to see the inside of~"</p><p>"That sounds nice, let's do that."</p><p>"No urge to dissect it? To publicly order its scrutiny~?"</p><p>"I'd pull their spleens out if anyone dared spy on this."</p><p>"Right, right~ Because I'm yours alone, right~?"</p><p>"And I yours."</p><p>"<strong>Certainly</strong>~"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felt like not enough works really gave credence to just how two-sided this codependence shebang is between Lambda and Bern. Wanted to explore that a bit! Dunno if any of this rings OOC, but I tried my best lol. Hope you get something out of it. Maybe "without love, it cannot be seen", hm?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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